Rob Price
Gutbrain Records
rob + gutbrain.com = email

2014 March 19 • Wednesday

Orson Welles fanatics will want to own this book. For me borrowing it from the library was enough.

The contents are transcriptions of conversations between Welles and Henry Jaglom, tape recorded in the early 1980s as they had lunch at Ma Maison in Los Angeles.

We're not likely to see another like Orson Welles again. It's fascinating to eavesdrop on his banter, gossip, declamations and pontifications. There are cameos by other notable figures who sometimes approach the table. (Jack Lemmon is welcomed, Richard Burton rebuffed.)

Sometimes you might recognize yourself, as I did in this moment:

Waiter: Gentlemen, bon appétit. How is everything?

O.W.: We're talking, thank you. [Waiter leaves.] I wish they wouldn't do that. If I ever own a restaurant, I will never allow the waiters to ask if the diners like their dishes. Particularly when they're talking.

He took the words out of my mouth there. The number of times I've been asked how I'm enjoying everything when I'm in the middle of a goddam sentence... Punch lines of elaborate jokes have been ruined. My stock answer to this question these days is to say that everything is terrible, I hate the food and I'm never coming back. It always gets a laugh and seems to cheer the server. And best of all they never ask me again!