2026 Feburary 06 • Friday

Graham Masterton wrote The Hell Candidate in 1980 while observing the Ronald Reagan phenomenon and hanging out with Ron's brother, Neil. The ease with which Reagan could captivate and convert an audience to his side made Masterton wonder what it would be like if, say, a presidential frontrunner were actually the devil, actually Satan.

He'd have to be a Republican, right? Hunter Peal is a Republican senator from Colorado who doesn't have much of a chance to clinch his party's nomination until he gets possessed by Satan and swerves wide to the right, promising that the United States will basically take over the world by force, and at home enact race and class apartheid and subjugate women to the pleasures of men.

Not in so many words, of course. Satan's not human but he's politically shrewd and, as you'd expect, a smooth talker. He also has supernatural powers, beginning with creating mass hallucinations of a nostalgic and jingoistic nature and graduating to remote murder, turning a would-be assassin inside out, crushing testicles and forcing political opponents to soil themselves on television or have a stroke, depending on his mood, just by thinking about it.

He can also change into the form of the beast, a goat-hooved, hairy, giant creature with two penises whose sexual preference is to use them both at the same time in a gory rape/murder ritual. This is graphically described and happens more than once in the book, so consider this if you were thinking of reading it.

While originally published in 1981, the year of Reagan's inauguration, this edition was reprinted in 2017. Who was inaugurated that year?

It's startling how many lines from the book, dating from Reagan's "Let's Make America Great Again" campaign, are still a good fit for the disastrous "Make America Great Again" cult that's actually keeping many of Masterton's hell candidate's campaign promises.

In his new introduction for the 2017 edition, Masterton writes "welcome back to the hellish past, and let's hope that it doesn't predict an even more hellish future".

Oh, well….

The candidate's name is Hunter Peal and the story is told in the first person from the point of view of Peal's press secretrary, Jack Russo.

Masterton doesn't waste any time dithering and the book zips along, gradually raising the stakes as it reveals more and more of Peal's infernal power and ambition.

Refreshingly there isn't a lot of quibbling about what's happening. At first, of course, all unusual things are explained away in various ways, because nobody's going to say oh it must be supernatural, probably the devil.

Even when it becomes clear that the Peal campaign is a huge threat to the world, no one dares quit because the only chance is to stay close and hope for an opportunity to do something about it.

A nice touch is that a lot of the devil's power comes from people themselves, from the baser parts of their nature. Greed, lost, anger, violence, envy, all that is buried inside to varying degrees and it is to these elements that Satan can appeal and find strength.

He gets people's votes not in spite of who they are but because of who they are—in part, at least. By the time they find out what they really voted for, it will be too late.

It's all depressingly familiar but an excellent premise for a horror novel and this one is well done.

The first line is "I was often asked, in the weeks after Hunter Peal was elected President, just when I was first convinced he was going to win".


2026 Feburary 04 • Wednesday

Reading the Harpur and Iles series by Bill James the last twenty-five years or so has been extremely pleasurable. And there are several books waiting for me but I had to take a break from the novels to tackle James's The Sixth Man, a short-story collection that includes some Harpur and Iles pieces.

While not quite as satisfying as one of the novels, this was an enjoyable change of pace.

The Harpur and Iles books are like chapters in a much larger book—A Dance to the Music of Crime is how I think of it, especially since James has some kind of critical work on Anthony Powell in his bibliography (not under the James pseudonymn, though)—and the Harpur and Iles stories here could easily have been chapters in one of the individual books.

The title piece is a full-strength distillation of the relationships, themes, with and irony that suffuse the series. Iles rants about his wife's affair with Harpur, Harpur worries that Iles might lose control at a funeral, the conversation between the two has the high/low seesaw of Jeeves and Wooster, recurring words such as "symbolic" and "encapsulates" serve as bits of comedic business that simultaneously support the structure of the story. It's a Harpur and Iles book in miniature.

In "For Information Only", we hear from an informant in the world of Harpur and Iles, not Harpur's informant, Jack Lamb, but another one, whose knowledge isn't actually desired by the police. Quite the opposite, in fact.

"Free Enterprise" turns our attention to Ralph Ember and Mansel Shale, the two main drug dealers on Harpur and Iles's patch, who have an understanding with Iles that they'll be allowed to control the drugs trade—there will always be a drugs trade—as long as they can keep peace, more or less, on the streets. The invasion into the turf by East European crime gangs is threatening this arrangement, as it has done for several novels now, and this story, a comedy of manners and language, is like a one-act play centered on this conflict.

Jack Lamb appears in "Rendezvous One", in response to an emergency regarding an undercover officer that Harpur has installed with one of the local drugs gangs, very much unofficially and absolutely against Iles's orders. A last-minute rescue operation goes into effect and, naturally, ends up involving Iles anyway.

The other stories include, well, a poem, actually, called "Going Straight", a first-person narrative of an ex-con working as a waiter. It's sensitive and amusing as well as bittersweet.

"Elsewhere" is a delirious story that's sort of about phone sex and left me in amazement that James actually came up with this idea in the first place. It dazzles and dances on the edge of the surreal but has a disappointing ending.

There are two World War 2 stories. "War Crime" is a reminiscence of an elderly woman, about dual romances she had as a teenager with a boy from London and an older Italian POW. As usual, the comedy, drama and intrigue come from the human tendency to rationalize, equivocate and self-mythologize.

The other one, "A Bit of Eternity", involves a murder in an air-raid shelter during a bombing run by the Germans. The concern shown to this one, small murder in the midst of a huge, noisy mass murder, is quaintly ironic, which is clearly part of the point.

The academic approach to crime fiction is lampooned in "Body Langauge", references Philip Marlowe and, perhaps, in its name dropping of "The Faerie Queene", Robert B. Parker's Spenser. A university professor teaching a course in crime fiction has an actual murder occur in his classroom, in front of his students, giving them the opportunity to apply what they've learned about crime fiction to a real-life crime. The title itself is a joke and the whole story is a sustained witticism.

"Fancy" was a misfire, an unsuccesful attempt at a one-joke short story about men wishing to be mistaken for a serial rapist. This one should have just been left out of the collection.

A story about suburban adultery, "Big City" is well done and notable for several memorable phrases: "aperitified people", "secrecy above hygiene". It's a good companion piece to "Elsewhere".

The most mysterious story in this collection is "At Home", which is told entirely in letters. At first it seems to be a fairly clear account of a woman whose husband is insanely violent and abusive. When it switches to letters written by the husband, the reader can no longer be certain. Oblique references to hedge clippers and weekend orgies simply make things less clear but more exciting.

Finally there's a long police procedural story, "Emergency Services", about a young, low-ranked, female police officer whose investigation of the murder of a possible informant leads her into high-level crime and corruption. This one feels like it could take place in the Harpur and Iles world but there are no cross-over characters or places. It's a great read, very well done, and I wouldn't mind spending more time with Detective Constable Helen Baring.


2026 February 02 • Monday

What about music for porn films? Nobody has said anything to me about it but I assume it's what everyone's thinking. And so Getting Off: The Seductive Sounds of 70's Adult Cinema is the 894th Soundtrack of the Week.

I've used an interest in soundtracks as the excuse for watching any number of, uh, not very good movies but have never tried the old "I watch porn for the music" gambit. But maybe porn soundtracks are about to have their moment, just like library music got its moment.

This compilation is really strong, packed with funky instrumentals. It starts with "Move On" by L. Hurdle and F. Ricotti. Bass guitar is the most prominent instrument and provides the main throughline, with drums and percussion and keyboards also playing crucial roles.

At just over seven minutes long, Anton Scott's "I.P. Walk" is a sprawling groovy jam with lots of keyboard and guitar soloing.

Then there's a laidback, slower but tougher groove, with lots of space and excellent conga playing, in Alan Tew's "Gentle in the Night", which could be a great cue for an action hero. And maybe that's exactly what it is.

It gets much more uptempo after that with a kind of funk/bop "Power Play" by Ray Davies—is it the Kinks Ray Davies? I don't know. But this one features some energetic horn playing.

"Nude Interlide #1" is the first of several tracks by "Unknown Artist". This one is a nice, slinky, post-In a Silent Way jazz/funk piece with a sexy female voice talking about the benefits of putting "a sex drink in your drink".

The music then drifts back to crime jazz/funk with Alan Hawkshaw's "Hawkwind and Fire", a fairly conventional piece with a cool figure played by horns while keyboard and guitar and bass and drums lay down a really good groove. There's a wailing guitar solo too.

What about disco? you ask. Well Brian Bennett's got you covered with "Disco Fever", which as a relentless disco beat with some nice trumpet playing.

Next up is "The Bends" by Roger Webb & Keith Grant, perhaps the most interesting track on the CD. It's got crazy sci-fi keyboards (like the fembots cue in The Bionic Woman), a really heavy drum beat with a huge distorted bass sound and long, sustained, distorted guitar playing. Everything about this one is great.

Alan Tew then returns with "The Heist", which definitely sounds like 1970s crime action music for film or television. It's got some tight writing, "Theme from S.W.A.T." energy and some wild keyboard flourishes.

"Nude Interlude #2" has a similar feel to the first one but is a little slower and a little lower, but very relaxed and also has a bit of movie dialogue, mostly people chuckling and making pleasure sounds. "Nude Interlude #3" is a little peppier and sunnier.

And, like the "Nude Interlude" cues, the remaining tracks on the record are by unknown artists.

"Carl's Cabana" sounds pretty much like generic porn soundtrack music, or at least how it's popularly imagined and represented, complete with someone moaning with pleasure over the music. But there's also a sweet, wistful quality to the melody, it's not cut from whole cloth.

While "Fernando's Blues" is a straight blues/rock number it also has a hard funk edge and really nice keyboard and guitar soloing.

The last cue, "Bang 'Em Hard", is aptly titled as the instrumentation is only drums and other percussion and it's a great piece, just solid rhythms.